After the Story - Choices Like Rivers - Episode 33

After the Story - Choices Like Rivers - Episode 33

This podcast discusses each chapter of Choices Like Rivers and each episode is posted directly after the book episode. This corresponds to Chapter 12 Section 2.

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This is tragic. Here we see Buddy has fixed up the little cabin. He has cleaned it, even decorated it with a vase of wildflowers on the table. A sign of love.

In his mind he thought he is doing something nice for Donna. He was giving her a place of her own to raise the baby in. But he knew she would run away if he did not shackle her there. Which he did.

At that moment Donna lost all hope. The care and planning that Buddy went through does not go unnoticed. It was planned and thought out.

And then, there is the chain, the shackle. It is as though a steel cell door has slammed shut, for Donna knows there is no way she can get free from it.

What a dichotomy here. Buddy’s love for Donna, maybe we should say his want for Donna, has led her to harm.

We all know that isn’t true love. If you love someone you don’t force them into anything. Maybe as a parent we will force a child to do something, but that is different. It is our responsibility as parents to force certain things on a child because it is good for them.

But adults who say they love someone should never force another person into something harmful to them. But we do it anyway. Not in this dire manner, maybe, but still painful to them.

There are times though that we have wanted something so badly from someone that we have manipulated them into it.

We use guilt to get them to do what we want.

We use the promise of pleasure to get them to do what we want.

We use threats to get them to do what we want.

This is not love. But, why then do we do this? Because we want what we want regardless of the consequences.

Sometimes we coerce others to partake in drugs or alcohol with us because that makes us feel better about what we are doing. If they are doing it with us then it will have a stamp of approval of sorts and we won’t feel so guilty.

What about coercing them to buy us things? Maybe in a relationship or marriage we coerce or manipulate the other one to provide us with the home we want or the car we want or the clothes we want, knowing all the while that it puts a strain on the other person to figure out how to provide those things.

I’ve seen people threaten many times. The promise to leave, or withhold affection, or a host of other things. The person being coerced is fearful of losing the very thing that is being used against them.

This is wrong. If we want something, we should go to God and pray. He is a good, good father and he will provide for us. But if we ever start down that rode of trying to coerce others to get what we want, we will have no pleasure in receiving what we wanted.

But we don’t trust God to provide for us. Also, I believe there is a part of us that knows that what we want is selfish or not the right time. We don’t want to wait.

We instinctively know that we can’t go to God with a request that we know is not for the best. That creates distance between us and God. Not because he moved away from us as we often fear, but because just like Adam in the garden, we have hidden ourselves away.

He is always there waiting for that time when we do take a chance and call out to him. He loves us and is always there with open arms. He will provide not just our needs, but our hopes and dreams too. But in his time and in his way. Trust him.

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