After the Story - Choices Like Rivers Episode 10
After the Story - Choices Like Rivers Episode 10
This podcast discusses each chapter of Choices Like Rivers and each episode is posted directly after the book episode. This corresponds to Chapter 4 Section 3.
Listen to my professionally narrated audio books and other podcasts here: AUDIO BOOKS & ALL PODCASTS.
More ways to read and follow along with my novels | Author Signed Hardcover | Author Signed Soft Cover | eBook
This is the first time that Sharon has ever told another person about the abortion she’d had. Dread, which is the fear of a future bad event happening, had engulfed her. She hadn’t know for sure how people would respond, and she feared it.
She had only known the times and the typical response. In this day and age, you just didn’t talk about it and when it was talked about it was in the negative. So, her greatest fear was telling someone and being judged poorly for it.
She was afraid of losing friends, their love, and good will. She did not want to be looked down upon.
It took a lot of courage for her to tell her friend Patty. And at first Patty was shocked. She had not expected that to be the source of Sharon’s pain. But once she had recovered, she was able to look past it and comfort her friend.
The idea of dating brought even more dread. The dread of telling that person. Sharon knew that she couldn’t just not tell them. In the rare, but possible, event that she couldn’t get pregnant she would have to tell them why. Then the fact that she had lied would come to light and it would certainly damage the relationship, possibly irreparably.
Sharon harbored not only fear and dread, but hate. She felt hate towards her father even though she knew in her heart that he felt he was doing the right thing for her. She latched onto that hate, and as with most adverse emotions, pushed down, untouched and unresolved, they fester and abscess. Her hatred for her father, and mother too for not intervening grew daily.
She blamed them for not only the abortion, but for damaging her potential dating prospects. She hated them for bringing the shame and guilt into her life that constantly clouded her.
Patty was a true friend though and she was very compassionate and tried to understand what her friend was feeling. She was also trying to help her friend move forward by going on a date with what she perceived was a great guy.
At this point, Sharon was hurt and angry, but she had not yet lost the ability to love and care for others. Total and complete selfishness had not consumed her and she did truly love her surrogate family.
Shame keeps us all from so much. It doesn’t have to be an abortion. It can be guilt over anything. Guilt and shame are two separate things, but they are like twins and where one is the other always is near.
Also, shame and guilt are primarily self imposed. We are the worst at beating ourselves up over failures or the supposed sins we’ve committed.
Society may condemn us, but the world soon forgets. The seed of condemnation that they laid in our souls only takes root and grows into a tree we see before us everyday. It is the tree of guilt with a shade of shame.
We can chop and chop and chop, but without addressing and removing the root, it will always be there looming over us.
Sharon allows her friend to convince her to go on the date. The affirmation that a good man will love her and understand were the words, the encouragement, that she needed to hear. So, she decided to take a chance. Let’s see how it turns out.
Shop all versions of my novels here: Shop Here
Check out my website: NancyJacksonAuthor.com
Follow me here:
Substack: https://nancyjackson.substack.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NancyJacksonAuthor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/NAJackson
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/najackson/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/nancyannjackson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nancyajackson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/NancyJackson
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nancyajackson?lang=en
