After the Story - Choices Like Rivers Episode 15
After the Story - Choices Like Rivers Episode 15
This podcast discusses each chapter of Choices Like Rivers and each episode is posted directly after the book episode. This corresponds to Chapter 6 Section 2.
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Molly Sue has been with Sharon for two months now and Sharon is gearing up for yet another change in their lives - school.
As we have seen so far with Molly Sue, she is such an amenable child that she simply goes along content with whatever is happening. She doesn’t question as we would imagine most children do.
I believe that she is curious, but watches and is learning while watching rather than asking countless questions. She is in a completely new environment and rather than rebel against the foreign surroundings and events, she simply is content and watches to learn.
Here we see a major point of disconnect between her and Sharon, who is continually reminded that Molly Sue’s world was, had to be, vastly different from what Sharon assumes it to have been.
Sharon was preparing feverishly for Molly Sue’s first year of school, but Molly Sue has no idea what school is.
While taking a break from shopping it suddenly dawns on Sharon that Molly Sue has no idea what school is and that even though she has been babbling on about it and preparing for it, Molly Sue just went along with it.
We also see a tender moment here with the hankie. The hankie caused a slight pang in Sharon’s heart, but we aren’t sure if she really remembers why. It was a small bit player in a previous chapter and one that might have been easily missed.
When Sharon told her parents about being pregnant there was a scene that followed where they were discussing it and Sharon’s mom was dabbing her tears with a small hankie with lavender scalloped edges and embroidered violets.
I’ve had those moments that were so painful I could only focus on some innate object like the small movements of the hankie being dabbed back and forth, and back and forth. A methodical movement that Sharon could focus on to remove her from the pain of the moment.
In Woolworths she remembered the pain of the moment that the object was associated with, but maybe not the exact moment of it.
However, Molly Sue was enamored with the beautiful embroidery. Could it be that she had a pleasant and loving memory associated with something like that embroidery? It was a very popular craft in that era.
One beautiful object benign in nature held a source of emotional pain for one person - Sharon, and emotional joy for another - Molly Sue.
This is just one tiny example of how diverse opinions are formed. When we experience joy and pleasure at a moment or with an object and others are simply repulsed by it, we cannot understand and often judge them for it. But, we don’t know what their experience has been.
Our lives are filled with tons of moment like this. We are a compilation of painful and joyful micro experiences and so is everyone else. We have to stop and remind ourselves of this and try and be open minded to them knowing their compilation or emotional makeup is why they feel and act the way they do, just as we do.
By stopping before we make assessments and reminding ourselves of this very thing, maybe we can be a bit more compassionate or understanding. Moments that happen to us are out of our control.
The painful moment Sharon associated with the hankie was out of her control and unbeknownst to her, the object was tied to a painful event in her life.
For Molly Sue it is probably that a very joyful moment in her life was associated with an object that was embroidered. That moment was also out of her control. Two very valid experiences of one object. Both valid feelings or emotions. Neither one is right or wrong.
If not dealt with, a life of negative micro events can send a person into a very dark place, or a place of anger and hostility. We judge them by their current actions without asking ourselves how they got to that point and can we do anything to help rewrite or undo those events.
Truly a relationship with the Lord is the only thing that can heal a painful past. But, we can begin to write good micro events into their life. Our kindness and generosity can add new moments that will bring joy.
It also begins building a bridge that possibly at some point may provide an opportunity to share the one who can address their pain in general. We can’t force a Jesus confrontation on them at the onset. First, we have to build positive moments between us and them so that trust is built. If we try to aggressively push Jesus on someone who is in pain and quite possibly even pain from a religious experience, they will only back away from us and anything that we might have to say. We have to approach gently, building positive micro moments of joy. Those are bridge building blocks that positive relationships are built on.
Once Sharon realized her disconnect with Molly Sue she quickly worked to fix it. She took her to the school building and explained how it would all work.
Molly Sue now knew the plan and saw the building, but would only find out what school itself was like when she experienced it. But for the moment it was the best that Sharon could do.
We to can often only do as much as we can do or what the moment calls for, then leave the rest for time to take care of.
We are meant to provide moments of joy and love to others that will be incorporated into their emotional makeup, but we are not called on to rebuild them from the ground up. That is the work of God. And even though he may use us, he will probably use many of us to provide that healing.
So don’t take the burden of others healing on yourself. Do what you can, as much as you can, then leave the rest up for those destined for their contribution in that persons life.
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