After the Story - Choices Like Rivers Episode 18
After the Story - Choices Like Rivers Episode 18
This podcast discusses each chapter of Choices Like Rivers and each episode is posted directly after the book episode. This corresponds to Chapter 7 Section 2.
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The day Patty, Lenny and baby Evan leave is one that Sharon has dreaded since she found out they were leaving. I am sure in that time she tried to avoid thinking about it and also tried to absorb as much time with them as possible.
But that day did come and she had to let go of them one last time. Even though assurances were made that they would return, keep in touch and so forth, they both knew the reality was that they would grow apart and eventually lose touch.
We also see that she had not lost Will over her confession and not only that but that they were growing even closer.
Sharon seemed to be growing in confidence. Will was including her in the dinner dates with prospective law firms.
She was an attractive young woman. We know this not because the book has given a specific description of her, but because of Will’s desire for her. And when Sharon herself looks in the mirror she is pleased with how she looks.
However, her insecurities dampen her quiet confidence. Other women can spot it a mile off. Bitchy vindictive women prey on it.
Another evening with Will. Sharon is practice at this now and had no reason to believe this night will be any different. But it was. These two wives put her to the test, and on the surface she survived, but internally she caved.
This is another early sign that she is using alcohol to mask pain. She controlled her behavior at the table by not engaging in conversation. Somehow she knew to behave this way to mask the inebriation.
But Will was watching her as any caring partner would. He loved her and enveloped her into his world and this process of searching for a job. So it only stands to reason that he noticed when she retreated into a glass of wine.
It made him angry. Not the kind of anger where he was yelling and screaming and throwing things as I’ve seen many men do. No, he was quiet and tense and that is almost more terrifying.
Whether it was the alcohol or just a need to vent, Sharon let it out. Rather than stuff it and say it was all alright and make some kind of silly excuse or apology for drinking, she was honest and vulnerable with him.
And, he understood.
Sharon is so typical of our behavior. We waver from bolstered confidence to utter emotional devastation. We work to convince ourselves we are okay at best and then at the slightest wind of adversity we crumble.
This should not be this way. We shouldn’t have to convince ourselves that we are okay in the first place. If we have to talk ourselves into it then it is not genuine but a facade that we have laid over ourselves.
But where does genuine confidence come from? At the risk of sounding preachy, it can only come from the one who made us and knows everything about us, and who still loves us anyway.
I love reading the Amplified bible and it often puts explanations of words in brackets. I love where it says in Colossians 1:4 For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus [the leaning of your entire human personality on Him in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness]
The leaning of your entire human personality on Him in absolute trust and confidence… I have pondered and prayed about that since I first read it several decades ago.
How do we become confident? By leaning our entire personality on Him. That will feed us and we will be confident not as the world is confident but confident in Christ and who he is in us. That is the only kind of confidence that brings genuine strength.
Sharon had bolstered herself and had gained a small degree of measured-out manufactured confidence, but at the first wind of adversity it vanished.
For true confidence, we must lean our entire personalities on him.
Sharon and Will weather this storm. Adversity when overcome, strengthens relationships and they were honest and vulnerable and responded appropriately. We hope it will always be this way, but will it?
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