Aug. 10, 2026

Archive Story | My Life As A Pot - Episode 23

Originally written July 15, 2011
Posted here: https://forthesakeofthetruth.com/2011/07/15/my-life-as-a-pot/

I’ve been writing a lot lately about God’s love for us and how we should reject condemnation because it is never from God. It is always from the enemy or our own insecurities. This type of writing is encouraging and uplifting, and it causes us to move closer to the Lord.

Some of my posts have talked about being yoked with Him and letting Him lead and guide you through life, which removes so much of the stress regarding bad choices and wrong decisions. How wonderfully freeing this is!

It has all seemed like such a wonderful message. A true feel-good message. It is a message I am clinging to and more than grateful for. If you had known me and the path I have taken, you would understand much more my eternal gratitude for this message.

But I want to talk about something else today. I had another blog on being yoked planned, but couldn’t escape the strong feeling that this is what I needed to write for today. My prayer is to keep it blog-length. It will be a challenge because the period of time in my life I want to talk to you about is packed beyond belief with life truths that I could write an entire book about and maybe someday will, should God deem it beneficial to others. So I am warning you now, this may be longer than a normal blog. But bear with me. I believe you will be blessed.

I want to set up one pinpoint in time and hopefully, if you are going through a very difficult time right now and have difficulty trusting God to lead you, this will help you.

I’ve been married more than once. My husband, Rick, is my sweetheart. I love him so very much, and he is such a wonderful man. I thank God for him every single day. I truly do. I am very thankful that life has led me to him. I wouldn’t change a thing.

But several years ago, before I met Rick, I was married to someone else. Before I married this man, I was conscious of making wrong choices and was terribly fearful of making them. When I met the man, I just referred to I prayed diligently daily asking God if this was a relationship I should be in or not. I did not want to be in a relationship that I had chosen and was not God’s will. I knew how horribly that could/would turn out.

So I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. We dated. He prayed. We counseled with pastors at the church and got the green light. They all knew us well. We were so in love and were best friends.

A hiccup on my career road led us to move to Arizona. It was not a popular decision with my friends and family, but I loved living there and do not regret the move. I still today feel like I am coming home every time I go back there.

I loved our life there. I loved our life together there. But one day, because of several extenuating circumstances, we started migrating back towards Oklahoma. We made the decision that he would move back before me, go to work, and then I would job hunt long distance and then move back, too.

So we separated by distance for a time to achieve a goal. Did we pray about the decision, or did we just reason it out and act? I don’t know. What would I do differently looking back on it? I don’t know.

But not long after that, he left me. He suddenly and abruptly ended our marriage. We were so in love, and then it was over and done, and it left me reeling. There was no warning, no preparation, or opportunity to build up anger that would help buffer the pain. There was only pain.

So,

My husband, whom I loved dearly, just up and left me for another woman.

My job ended and I was laid off.

I suffered physically, literally hemorrhaging daily.

The church I moved back home to suggested that I ‘take some time’ and not volunteer while allowing him to continue to do so.

The person who had been my best girlfriend for years would no longer speak to me. I had no idea why. She wouldn’t respond to my phone calls, messages, or even a knock at her door.

I know there were also other things that I just prefer not to mention right now. The items listed above were sufficient. I felt I had no one, no money, no health, and no purpose.

But the one thing I knew, without a doubt, was that I had the Father and His loving Son Jesus and the Comforter—the Holy Spirit. I literally clung to the Trinity daily. Each day I would spend hours with Him, and He would talk to me. I believe I heard His voice more during that period than ever before or since.

The hardest part of the entire ordeal for me was that I had prayed before marrying this man and had asked God if I should do it. I felt so good about the decision because God confirmed it on so many levels to me. I was convinced that the marriage would not only succeed but flourish. After all, it had God’s stamp of approval all over it.

So why did it end and why was I hurting so badly? Why oh why? I cannot describe the pain I felt. I am sure each one of you reading this can relate to a point in your own life when you have felt pain on this level.

I struggled with feelings of betrayal from God. Why would He tell me to go ahead, knowing that it would come to this, knowing that he would leave me and I would have to suffer like this? I really did not understand.

I am a survivor. I’m a shake the dust off my feet kind of girl. So, I pulled up my big-girl panties and get on with my life. You don’t want me, fine! I’ll be better than fine without you. Then God said, “I want you to pray for your marriage.”

I groaned, and we had an argument. I didn’t want to think about him, much less pray for our marriage. That would take love, forgiveness, and effort, none of which I was willing to muster up at that time.

I try to be an obedient child to Father God, and I truly loved my husband, so I agreed to pray for our marriage. I once again had hope. If God were asking me to pray for our marriage, then certainly that marriage would be restored, right? So I dove in with both feet, believing and praying.

Then one morning God said, “Just pray for him personally, not for your marriage”. My reasoning was that if I prayed for him, then the marriage would naturally be restored, right?

What I found was that praying for him kept my emotions raw. There was no healing or moving on. Praying for him fervently in the manner we are called to pray kept the deep love I had for him alive, and the pain even more alive. I experienced the raw pain I felt when he initially left me over and over on an almost daily basis.

During the entire process of the divorce, he kept making unreasonable demands on me. He asked me to pay him $250 a month for two years, even though I was the one who had supported us while we were married. He had worked some, but finding a job in Arizona was difficult for him. I understood that, but not him asking me for money.

I went into fight mode. Then God said, “Agree to pay it.” I said, “But it is wrong”! God said, “Let him do you wrong.”

It was the worst nightmare one could imagine. I could not get my head around it all. I am not an advocate of allowing your bible to fall open to get a word from the Lord, but this particular morning it just fell open to this…

1 Corinthians 6:7 (Amplified Bible)
7) Why, the very fact of your having lawsuits with one another at all is a defect (a defeat, an evidence of positive moral loss for you). Why not rather let yourselves suffer wrong and be deprived of what is your due? Why not rather be cheated (defrauded and robbed)?

So I agreed to pay up even though I had no job at the time. It just seemed that insult kept adding to injury. As I said, to list everything would take pages. But let me get to the point.

One day, in the midst of all this, I was out back on my deck. I still remember it vividly. It was several months into this ordeal and was about sundown. I remember the intense pain I was still feeling. It was almost debilitating. I was literally doubling over in physical pain.

I asked God, “When will it stop? When will it be over? I feel like I can’t endure this any longer! Where are you? Please make it stop!” I was begging and crying out to God.

This is what God said so clearly. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but nevertheless profound.

“You are like a pot being fired in a kiln. I know you have been through the fire many times, and this feels like the worst, but the more precious a pot is to be, the more firings it must go through. And just like the potter, I will not remove you before it is time. But know that I am here standing right outside the kiln, and I will not leave you.”

He then flooded my heart and mind with all the things I knew about pottery and clay and firing and porcelain versus standard clay pots. I knew I wanted to be porcelain, precious, and that took going through the fire many, many times. You see, I loved my Father God, and I wanted to be His workmanship, the finest workmanship. So I submitted myself to Him, while hoping this would be the last firing.

Then something broke through the pain. A thought—‘So… my life as a pot!’ I smiled. I almost chuckled. But the pain eased, and once again I was at peace.

When we yoke ourselves to Jesus, He will take us on the path we should go on. That doesn’t mean there will never be pain. We all experience pain. Even if you decide to choose your own path, you will not avoid the pain that life provides. But if you yoke yourself with Jesus, the pain you experience will have a purpose.

The time I have described above lasted for about two full years, and our marriage never reconciled. It was the most painful journey I have ever been on, but through that time I wasn’t just fired like a porcelain pot; it forged me like steel. The strength that God forged in me during that time is priceless—precious. I would do it all over again, yet pray to God that I never have to.

Still, I know that pain will come, but I believe being yoked with Jesus will guide us away from the meaningless pain of our own silly decisions and blinded sight, into life experiences where the pain will shape us. I don’t believe all pain is the firing kiln. I believe a lot of the pain we experience is avoidable, from wrong decisions or disobedience, from wanting to go our own way. Being in control of our own path usually leads us into unnecessary pain rather than away from it.

So if you are going through pain today, ask the Father to send the Comforter. If you are in pain from your own poor choices, ask Him to deliver you out. He will. If you are in pain from being in the kiln, seek Him to show you how to let the pain fire you properly and forge you into steel.

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